But, there is the sense that we are increasingly in thrall to an endemic language of trauma: it is overused, misunderstood and semantically stretched by unqualified people in everyday situations, shoring up a culture of pathologising everything or facilitating selfishness and irresponsibility. We can’t even agree on what constitutes terms such as ‘trauma’, ‘violence’ or ‘abuse’. Alice*, 35, lent her friend of 20 years “a lot” of money only for the friend to become evasive about repayment to the point that she stopped communicating. “She said she felt harassed by me and not entering into dialogue was an essential boundary put in place for her own safety,” says Alice. “I was like, OK, but what about my right to have a straight answer about where my money is? Am I abusive – which is what she called me – or is she manipulative? Like, how convenient, you have put up a boundary which absolves you of accountability.”
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